Nishizono (Rian Darcy)
American History According to Me
Nishizono: But I think England is still a bit stung about the whole Revolution thing
Nishizono: Not to mention the whole letting them get bombed to shit before we finally hauled ourselves over and into WW I
Nishizono: 1? 2.
Nishizono: My American history is shit
Rabbit: Both, I think, haha
Nishizono: Whichever one we pretended wasn't happening for a long ass time
Nishizono: I know we looked the other way in WWII until Pearl Harbor
Nishizono: And then we were like, "Oh HELL no you did not just drop bombs on Hawaii."
Nishizono: And I'm pretty sure both times, England was like, "WTF GUYS WHERE ARE YOU LONDON IS RUBBLE!"
Nishizono: Only much more subdued than that, and probably wearing a monocle at the time
Nishizono: And then Pearl Harbor happened, and we were like:
Rabbit: Ahahahaah
Rabbit: Fuck
Rabbit: I love America sometimes
I'm just kidding about the monocle thing, England. Please let me live in your country. I promise to bring my English-loathing, Irish Catholic family around to the idea, or be disowned trying.
Jude Law loves Robert Downey Jr
Interviewer: Tell us about your relationship with Robert Downey Jr.
Jude Law: Oh, I love him.
Interviewer: You have a bit of a bromance going on there.
Jude Law: What is this new term everybody's using? That's a horrible term. What about just a 'romance'?
Interviewer: No, that's not the same, 'cos then you'd have to star in a romantic comedy together or something.
Jude Law: We just have! Have you not seen it?
Marrying Tom Hardy
Rabbit: I want to marry him and millions of his babies
Nishizono: I hope you left a word out of that sentence
Colonial Tension
Dodgie: Australia is allowed to destroy the English language. We have the Union Jack on our flag.
Nishizono: Oh yes, well done on not being able to escape the English.
Dodgie: Hey, we got as far away from them as possible.
Nishizono: No, they put you there because they didn't want you anymore. At least they killed my people themselves. They just shipped you guys off to be killed by other things because they couldn't be bothered.
Dodgie: ...
Nishizono: Wow, lots of colonial tension in here all of a sudden.
I'm a Mutant
I've had some kind of weird flu-thing for the last 24 hours, but my only symptoms have been fever, chills, and body aches, and I'm already starting to feel better. This put me on a quest for answers, and I think I've found an explanation...
Nishizono: It's weird
Nishizono: It's going away already
Nishizono: And it's only been 24 hours
Nishizono: I've never had something like this before
Nishizono: And I get worried when my body starts doing weird shit
Nishizono: Just like how I got my tattoo on Sunday and it is, to all appearances, almost completely healed already
Nishizono: Fuck
Nishizono: What if I'm turning into Wolverine?
Fuck Charles Dickens
Nishizono: I'll be an old codger with 290 cats and a shelf full of Charles Dickens novels
00000000: You'll have good novels though!
Nishizono: Except not Charles Dickens because he's a windbag, and I only said that because it's his birthday for two more hours
00000000: It's over on the east coast
Nishizono: Oh, that's true
Nizhisono: Well in that case, fuck Charles Dickens
Seven Left Feet
Nishizono: Alas, I cannot snowboard
Nishizono: You know the expression, "I have two left feet"?
Nishizono: I've got like seven of them
Nishizono: And they're all broken at the ankle
Watching Merlin
nishizono: God damn it, Merlin, it's been three seasons, and you still haven't learned not to go into dark, cobwebby rooms alone?
nishizono: How about you stay away from the cobweb-covered dude?
nishizono: ...or, y'know, walk right up to him
nishizono: Oh, yeah, no, I'm sure the dude who looks like a corpse and is covered in cobwebs doesn't mean you any harm
nishizono: Go ahead and try to take his trident
nishizono: And meanwhile, Arthur, you just go ahead and shove your hand into that worm-covered hole in the wall
nishizono: I'm sure it's fine.
nishizono: Okay look, fine, I concede, so the cobweb dude doesn't care about the trident after all.
nishizono: But you really, really don't want to drink the water Cobweb Dude is handing you. I promise.
nishizono: Look, I'm just saying. The dude is in a huge, dark tower guarded by dragons, he's covered in cobwebs, and he looks halfway decomposed.
nishizono: SEE?! You asshole, I told you.
nishizono: Now he's going to mouth rape you or something
nishizono: Oh. Well. That's a lot sadder than I thought.
nishizono: And this whole scene ends up being a lot more moving than I thought it would be.
nishizono: And now I feel like an asshole for making fun of it.
Emo Gangsters
Nishizono: I want to change everything about my entire life
Tony: Well baby steps
Tony: pick some low hanging fruit off the vine
Nishizono: The vine is dead, yo
Nishizono: ~emo gangster signs~
Nishizono: I don't know wtf an emo gangster looks like
Nishizono: But I imagine it's sort of like Chris Angel
What a Colourful Century
nishizono: Also, am I the only one who sort of imagines that, based on photographic evidence, the 1960s were orange and everyone in the 1920s was in black and white?
baron: nope. life wasn't in color until the 40s. everyone knows that.
baron: even ketchup was a dark grey. not that vibrant red we've come to cherish.